


Taking the Long Way

by vega_voices



Series: You Are Like That, [3]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Blood Fever, F/F, F/M, Pon Farr nonsense, book nerds, falling in love slowly, god they are idiots, letting go of the past, okay i am in love with them, wouldn't you be?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25982110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vega_voices/pseuds/vega_voices
Summary: Would she ever trust that she wanted him for him and not him because of what Vorik did to her?
Relationships: B'Elanna Torres/Joral Kreshi (OFC), B'Elanna Torres/Original Female Character(s), Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres
Series: You Are Like That, [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861696
Comments: 18
Kudos: 22





	Taking the Long Way

**Title:** Taking the Long Way  
**Author:** vegawriters  
**Fandom:** Star Trek: Voyager  
**Series:** You Are Like That,  
**Pairing:** B’Elanna Torres/Tom Paris  
**Rating:** M  
**Timeframe:** Set just after Blood Fever  
**A/N:** _The Wayfarer_ series is by **Becky Chambers** and should be bought and supported. _Little Match Box_ is by **Tess Gallager** , and is found in the _Dear Ghosts_ anthology.  
**Disclaimer:** I make no money off of this. Of course I don’t …

 **Summary:** _Would she ever trust that she wanted him for him and not him because of what Vorik did to her?_

_And if there were two moons,  
who would sleep when one  
passed before the other  
and took it in  
on its dark side? Wouldn’t  
some extra light ray out  
around the sustaining one?  
Wouldn’t you sense  
the two in one, even if you’d  
never seen them parted?  
From: Little Match Box by Tess Gallagher_

The first time B’Elanna Torres allowed and accepted that her feelings about Tom Paris were due to anything other than Vorik assaulting her came two weeks after that humiliating experience with her own blood fever. Yes, she’d taunted Tom after all was said and done, told him to be careful what he wished for, told him that maybe if he tried harder, he might get a second chance at making an even better impression, but the truth was, despite how he’d said he wouldn’t mind seeing her scary Klingon side again someday, she was embarrassed. Her Klingon hormones had yet again got the better of her and now she was, again, the weird one. Klingon stereotypes were, frustratingly, often there for a reason and the more she pushed both sides of herself away from each other, the more lost she felt in the shuffle of everything. At least the warp core was always there for her. That and the schematics for new technology she was always playing with. And at night, alone in her quarters, her closest friends between the pages of her favorite books. She’d eventually emerge again, she pledged. After all, she was starting to feel at home here among all these Starfleet types and her maquis brethren were a safe port in all of this confusion. But until it was safe again in the world, until Vulcans wouldn’t come at her with their blood born repression and until she was absolutely sure no one was looking at her sideways, B’Elanna was more than happy to curl up with Toby, her favorite blanket, and let herself wander off to strange, new worlds.

Until, really, today.

Harry had convinced her that a day on a holographic beach with Tom and Chell and the Delaney Sisters was a good idea, and well, even she had to concede that some manufactured sunlight would be good for her. So, she’d donned a pair of loose pants and a tank top and her favorite pair of flat sandals and grabbed her PADD. They could all go splash in the water, she was sitting on a towel and reading.

And here she was, stretched out on a towel, hip deep into one of her tried and true favorites, a classic science fiction romp where Earth wasn’t the main focus and where the AI was sentient and where the misfits were the celebrated ones. Kizzy and Jinx had just landed on the colony world with Ashby and Sissix and unbeknownst to the crew of the _Wayfarer_ , they were about to spend the evening huddled behind shields as bugs swarmed during their mating cycle. Right as Kizzy was flying into the arms of Bear, a shadow fell over her. B’Elanna looked up, her gaze taking in the real reason she’d agreed to these few hours on the holodeck. In between pages, she kept glancing up, watching his antics from afar. Now, Tom Paris was right in front of her, giving her a view of his well muscled legs and the stocky yet slender torso and a part of her wanted to lick the droplets of water from between his nipples. He was hairier than she expected him to be, but it was fine hair. Perfect for tugging and raking her nails through. Her nipples pebbled slightly and she crossed her arms, quirking an eyebrow at him. “You’re blocking the suns,” she taunted.

He shrugged and crouched down next to her, dislodging the sand and she brushed the grains from her towel. He smelled of the ocean and it might have been some lingering hormone racing through her system but, Harry and the Delaney sisters were out in the water and Chell was snoring so if Tom wanted to run those long, nimble fingers up her leg and lean in to bite her neck, she wouldn’t complain. _Get a grip, B’Elanna_ , she lectured herself.

“Whatcha reading?” He asked.

For a long minute, she considered evading the question. He didn’t need to know her secrets, that she preferred books to people, that she’d saved herself as a child by losing herself in the fantasies of writers from time periods long before. How the writers of four hundred years ago envisioned the universe had definitely shaped where she was now. But she took the risk and shrugged. “It’s an old Earth sci fi classic,” she said, holding up the PADD and then putting it down on the sand next to her.

“Which one?”

“ _A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet_ ,” she said, trying to tamp down the nerves. Her whole life, she’d been made fun of for reading so much, for not joining in with others. Was Tom about to do that here?

But then, he surprised her. His eyes lit up. “By Becky Chambers, right? The Wayfarer series?” He grinned widely. “First time reading it?”

“God no,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s been a favorite since I was a teenager.”

“Have you ever tried the holonovel?” He asked. “I love being Jinx.”

Her smile matched his, but she shook her head. “Honestly, I’m not that into holonovels. I get why people like them, but I’d rather just read.”

He blushed a bit and looked down at the sand and she wondered if she’d hurt his feelings. Tom was, after all, becoming the chief holoprogram designer on the ship. But he recovered and met her eyes again. “Who is your favorite character?”

She laughed. “It’s probably cliche, but I really like Kizzy. Pepper’s my favorite though.”

“Hmmm. The quirky engineer who isn’t afraid to be herself in all things and the loner engineer with the heart of gold.”  
  
His tone was a bit too “ship’s counselor” for her taste, but B’Elanna’s retort was lost when their eyes met again and she could see past the walls he put up, the walls he also hid behind. She inhaled, smelling the ocean and him and knew there was a reason she’d gone after him during that pon farr episode and for a moment she wondered if she kissed him here, now, would he react as he had then? Telling her it just wasn’t the right time? Or would he pull her under him and also not care that there were people around? She desperately wanted him to kiss her.

_Pull it together, B’Elanna._

She let out a breath. “But really though, my favorite is the second one in the series.”

“Makes sense you’d like the one that’s all about the AI and the loner engineer.” He smiled.

“I didn’t know you were a reader,” B’Elanna confessed, trying to feel normal again. Trying to bring down her body’s physical reaction to how close he was and how she remembered him under her. Would she ever trust that she wanted him for him and not him because of what Vorik did to her?

“Truth?” Tom grinned. “I read so much in school that I’d forget to do my homework. My head was always off somewhere, exploring.” He paused. “It’s one reason I like holonovels, actually. It lets me explore that fantastical world in different ways.”

She laughed. “What are your favorites?”

“You’ll laugh.”

“Probably, but try me.”

He rolled his eyes but indulged her. “I love Jules Verne and Ray Bradbury. Ursula K. LeGuin.”

B’Elanna laughed. “Isaac Azimov? I always loved his robots. Octavia Butler is a favorite too. Becky Chambers. N.K. Jemisin. Carmen Maria Machado and Ana Castillo.” She paused, risking something she didn’t risk with many people. “But to be honest, I love Klingon writers. There’s a passion in the writing that just …sometimes I feel humans lack,” she shrugged.

“I haven’t really read a lot of Klingon writers.” He paused. “I’ll have to change that.” Their eyes met. “Who are your favorites?”

Well, she wasn’t about to tell him about Morgreth and her romance stories and how she’d discovered them when she was thirteen years old. Sneaking onto one of her mother’s PADD’s, she’d opened the file and fell into the lusting, rutting stories of the men who read poetry and ducked from the women going after them. The stories should have taught her to be unabashed, unashamed of how her hormones took over, of the part of her that was passionately Klingon, but what the books didn’t tell her was that human men were often too fragile for Klingon love and Klingon men weren’t interested in half-breeds like her. Even now, she’d never dared to even think a Klingon woman would be interested - not that she didn’t have a whole stack of those romances in her files.

Tom was waiting for an answer though and she cleared her throat. “Well, you know, _The Song of Ice and Fire_ is so much better in the original Klingon. You know why Martin never finished the series, right?” she taunted.

He was laughing. “Well, I’ve never read it, but try me.”

She grinned. “Because he never got the final transmission from Q'onoS.”

Tom chuckled. “Don’t you guys say that about Shakespeare as well?”

“ _Hamlet_ is so much more interesting in Klingon,” B’Elanna said with a laugh. She wanted to be off the holodeck, curled up in her bed, with him, listening to his voice as he read aloud. She wanted to take the PADD from his hands and pull him under her. Would he be too fragile for Klingon love? Would he make human mating more interesting than her previous experiences had allowed for? Her eyes dropped to his lips and then moved back up to meet his and it was clear he’d noticed.

“Maybe,” he cleared his throat, “we could spend a day wandering one of the libraries. Have you ever been to the Federation Library of Congress?”

“No …”

“It’s the mission of the Library to collect every book in the galaxy. They have rooms and rooms of rare finds and … it’s just really cool. There’s even a couple of holodecks and some computer terminals for some of the earliest holoprograms. They called them Visual Novels.”

Silence. B’Elanna searched his eyes, hating herself for crushing on this Starfleet flyboy. What would her maquis friends say? Well, they’d say she’d sold out for one. But, what if Tom really was more than just a typically pretty face? And he wasn’t really Starfleet. He was in that uniform because it was that or jail, at least, that was what she’d heard. No one had ever told her the real story. Maybe it was time she asked him.

“That …” she took a risk. A breath. “That sounds really nice.”

His hand reached out to hers and she let him take it. She hadn’t let anyone touch her since the planet, since she’d jumped on Tom, since she’d beat the hell out of Vorik. Her body surged and if he noticed her biting her lip, he at least didn’t say anything. “Next time we both have a few hours off?”

“Yeah …” she murmured.

A chirp from her PADD startled them. Suddenly she pulled her hand free. She had to go. She had a duty shift in an hour and needed to shower and get the sand off of her and maybe spend a little bit of extra time in the sonic shower. Tom looked confused but didn’t stop her, and she appreciated that.

“I just realized what time it is,” she stammered. “Apologize for me but I have to get ready for duty.” B’Elanna grabbed her PADD and her towel and ran.

***

If anyone asked, and he knew they wouldn’t, Tom wasn’t just going to settle for the half-baked holoprogram of the Federation Library. It was a nice enough setting - fireplaces, ladders to retrieve books, comfortable couches to sit and read. But there was no adventure in the exploration, no reason to go other than just to sit still, and while the collection in the program was all well and good, he couldn’t shake the image of B’Elanna on a mission to find some treasure trove of books and growing giddy as she showed them to him and then their faces would be inches apart and he’d lean in and kiss her and then they’d delete the library staff and lock the holodeck doors and yes, he’d let her bite him again.

So, he took the program and tweaked it. Adding the coffee shop outside, and the restaurant across the street. He expanded the program, making it easier to get lost in the maze of books, and allowing for the scent of aged leather and ancient paper. If he added a chair here or a desk there, his liberties did not detract from the concept of the library and at least here, they could bring their coffees and snacks and not damage the books they were leafing through.

It was silly, he knew, this crush he had on B’Elanna. But really, most of the men and probably most of the women, also had a crush on her. Who wouldn’t? She was strong and funny and smarter than most of them put together and she had the most beautiful brown eyes he’d ever looked into. In his most fantastical moments, he allowed himself to imagine that she felt the same way. In his more lustful moments, when his hand was wrapped around his cock and he was imagining her on her knees, sucking him off, he wished he’d been less of a gentleman during that whole blood fever episode. But he knew better, and he knew she appreciated his restraint.

But the way to this woman’s heart was to get to know her and to not treat her like the exotic creature so many of the humans on the ship did. He’d heard the whispers and knew why the aliens kept to each other and themselves for the most part. Humans still loved nothing more than to fetishize the exotic unknown. Now that he knew she loved to read, it was an in, something to connect to besides her love of engineering and his love of piloting. Would she call him a flyboy while she was riding him?

_Get a grip, Tom._

The truth was, he’d seen B’Elanna in more vulnerable states than he had a feeling even Chakotay had. He’d seen her separated from her Klingon side and cowering in abject fear at what that meant. He’d seen the blood fever racing through her and the terror at losing control. He knew that she kept her distance and blamed her Klingon temper because it was easier than risking being hurt. It was a trait he knew all too well for himself. So, he wasn’t going to push. But, he did replicate a copy of _Taming of the Shrew_ (in the original Klingon of course) and leave the leather bound book and a rose at the door to her quarters. _2300 hours?_ He scribbled on a note. _Dinner and reading?_

The answer had come into his comm folder while he was on the bridge. Quickly, he tapped the panel and was glad no one was paying attention to him while he swallowed his laugh. _Watch yourself, Petruchio_.

Suddenly, he wondered if there was a connection between Petruchio and petaQ. Maybe good ol Billy really had stolen his work from the Klingons.

But the question on plagiarism left his mind when he tapped the chime at her door at 2300 and when she answered, he forgot anything but how beautiful she was. She was dressed in loose trousers and a tank top that tied around the back and highlighted her waist and hips. Gold hoops caught the light. If this was a date, he was claiming it. If this was how she looked just hanging around off duty, he was going to find every reason possible to be close to her.

“Hi …” he managed to stammer out.

“Hey …” she responded, blushing slightly. Was she as nervous as he was?

Quickly, he took her hand, hoping he wasn’t overstepping his bounds. “Look, B’Elanna … I know things have been weird since that pon farr thing and if you don’t want this to be a date I understand but you look amazing and I like you, which makes me sound like an idiot and …”

“Tom?” she interrupted him.

“Yes?”

“Shut up. Let’s not put any kind of definition on this, okay? Let’s just go to the Library and have some fun.”

He nodded, relieved, and carefully let her hand go. It wasn’t a date. Not … yet. But she walked so close to him on the way to the holodeck and when he brought her inside and let her feast her eyes on Bucharest and the plaza around the Library, he put his hand on the small of her back and she didn’t pull away.

“Tom, this is amazing.”

“Just a few tweaks to the original program. Are you hungry? Want some coffee? The cafe makes a pretty good raktajino.”

She cast a sideways look at him. “And if I just want coffee?”

“They have that too. And tea.” His hand was still on her back and it took every ounce of control to not turn her into his arms and feast on her lips. Luckily for him, she stepped away, moving toward the cafe and he followed as closely as he dared.

Outside the cafe, a huge mastiff lounged and B’Elanna leaned down to pet him. The dog huffed and butted her head for more pets and when she giggled, Tom knew he was in trouble. This really had the potential to be more than a crush and if she only wanted him to be a friend, he wasn’t sure he’d recover. “We’ll get you a treat,” she murmured as she stood back up. The dog whined happily. Tom held the door open for her and together, they stepped into the small cafe. Behind the counter, a young Bajoran waited to take their order. Two other customers were seated at a table by the window. “This is lovely,” she said quietly. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” was all he could think to respond. But it wasn’t about the compliment. It was for even coming down here, spending some of her precious time off with some guy like him. Again, she was so close to him and he caught her eyes on his lips and would it be ungentlemanly to lean down and kiss her? Softly? Would she press herself against him and wrap her arms around his neck and …

“Coffee, Tom?” She’d stepped up to the counter and he watched her order a blood orange herbal tea and a treat for the dog outside. He followed her lead and ordered an Italian soda - cream flavored - and they moved from the cafe out across the plaza toward the Library after she stopped again to stroke the dog's head and let him munch on his cookie.

After a few moments of silence, B’Elanna finally stopped and looked at him. “Look, I know I’m impossible a lot of the time, and I know …” she sighed. “I’ve already said thank you, for how you behaved during that pon farr business. But I really want you to understand how much it means to me that you didn’t just take advantage of me. I … I trust you. More than having to serve alongside you would ever …” she sighed and reached up to touch his cheek where she’d bitten him. Tom held his breath as she leaned up and kissed the spot. “I like you too,” she admitted and he was back in that moment of honesty in the cave, when she’d taunted him into admitting he was interested when she’d told him she felt the same, when he’d kissed her and it had for just a moment felt so real and perfect and he hadn’t cared about chemical imbalances or getting to safety. When he’d hoped beyond hope that someday she would say it and mean it. She liked him, too. “So, can we just … go wander some books and see what happens? Before we run out of time?”

He laughed and took her hand. “Sounds perfect.”

Together they wandered in, still hand in hand, and Tom took the moment of pride as she stared at the massive collection. “Most of the original collection was destroyed in the Third World War. It was in Washington D.C. and the city was leveled in the first volley of weapons. Some of the librarians were able to get the rare collections to safety, and the digital uploads were stored in underground bunkers. When they started to rebuild, the whole world came together to make sure nothing was lost. Over the generations, it’s come to include works from all Federation and Allied worlds - and even some of our enemies too. If it’s been written, it’s here.” Tom turned to her and the tears in B’Elanna’s eyes stopped him short. “You okay?”

“If you were trying to impress me …” she leaned in so close he could feel the heat of her breath, “it’s working.”

And in the atrium entry of the Library of the Federation, Tom Paris kissed B’Elanna Torres for, truly, the first time. It was soft and sweet and so unbelievably tender. He wanted a table to put their drinks on, a sofa to sink into, but first, he just wanted to share her lips against his without any strange, otherworldly blood fevers making everything awkward. When they broke for air, she just smiled at him.

“I’ll bite your cheek later,” she teased.

Tom cleared his throat and willed his body to obey some levels of decorum. “Promise?” She only laughed and led the way up the stairs toward the first enclave of rare books. Willingly, Tom followed, linking their fingers as they walked.

***

The hour and a half was up way too quickly. Curled up in the softest, best reading couch she’d ever enjoyed, the chime from the holodeck startled her from the book about elves and man she was skimming through. It was fascinating. Biblical, even. Worthy of the ways the monks on Boreth used to tell tales at dinner. She closed the book and glanced up to see Tom approaching from wherever he’d disappeared to. Oh, that was right, the holonovels history.

The look in his eyes took her breath away and she shrunk back, just slightly, terrified of the feeling in her chest. The last time her heart leapt like it did every time she was around Tom had been when she’d looked into Kreshi’s eyes. She missed Kreshi, her soft hands and dark eyes and the caustic wit that kept all of them going. And maybe she had a type, if she let herself go there - tall, strong, with a desire to take a shuttle to the absolute limit in search of speed. What if what she was feeling weren’t feelings for Tom but a substitute for a lover she’d never see again? He must have seen her flinch because he stepped back and that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted him to come forward and lock the holodeck doors and use up another hour of his rations while she showed him what they could have had back when he was being a gentleman. But, it was too late, so she patted the cover of the book and extracted herself from the couch. “Please tell me we can come here again,” she said, falling into step with him.

Did his shoulders visibly relax? “It’s a public program …”

She touched his arm as they stepped from the holodeck. “I said we, and I meant it.”

He slowed to match her pace and looked at her, still nervous, but the look from earlier was back in his eyes. “I’d use all of my holodeck rations if it meant we had more nights like this.”

“My treat next time.”

She wanted him to kiss her again. She wanted him to walk her back to her quarters and come inside and remind her exactly how that mouth felt against hers. She wanted him to push her into her mattress and claim her and leave her bruised and gasping and spent. Instead, she just squeezed his hand and they walked back to her quarters and stood awkwardly at the door. Why was she just so scared of these feelings? _Because_ , her inner voice mocked her, _you’ll lose your mind if you lose someone else you care about and you know just how much you could care about him so stick to your romance novels and your fantasies. Those don’t hurt so much when they end._

He leaned in, brushing her hair back from her face, and B’Elanna turned her face to the touch. “I’m still not scared of your Klingon side,” he murmured. “You, maybe a little bit, but not that. You’re amazing and I’ve thought that for a long time and if you just want to be friends, I’ll accept that and if you want more, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

She met his gaze, so glad he understood, somehow, that it wasn’t him she was scared of but them. “I’d ask you in,” she said, her voice low, “but I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“Tonight was perfect,” he replied. “Well, almost.”

And then his lips were on hers and for all of her worry about what other people thought of her, for just a moment, B’Elanna let her heart lead and lost herself in how their mouths danced and how their fingers linked as he kissed her.

“Now it’s perfect,” he murmured as they broke off the kiss. “I’ll see you at senior staff in the morning.”

“Yeah …” she whispered before stepping back into the familiar cocoon of her quarters. Tripping over herself to get to the bed, B’Elanna kicked off her heels and collapsed, face first, into the pillows. Her whole body tingled and she let out just the softest of screams as her body released some tension. She wasn’t ready for what that kiss promised, but her body wanted him. Her body wanted so much more than she had let happen. Rolling over, she sat up and looked out the viewport at the stars, wishing there was any way to know exactly where in the universe Kreshi and her friends might be. By now, Kreshi would have moved on. Hell, knowing the other woman, she’d have made a trip to sneak down to Boreth just to lay a flower. Hopefully, she was happy. Maybe, someday, B’Elanna would let herself be.

Reaching for the log PADD by her bed, B’Elanna touched the record icon and took a breath. “Pick up where I left off,” she ordered the small tablet. A chime let her know it was ready. “Hey, Kresh, another night, another letter to you. Kahless, I have something to tell you. I mean, there’s so much, including the fact that, yet again, if Chakotay and the Captain don’t get over themselves I’m sticking them in a photon torpedo and sending them out into space.” She sighed and pulled off the bed, moving to change into her pjs. Standing at the mirror in her vanity, she slowly removed her jewelry, staring into the face of her grandmothers. Her mother had always said she was a perfect combination of both women.

“But that’s for Chakotay to talk about. I’m just gossiping.” She pulled her blouse off, tossing it into the recycler. The pants went into her dresser. “But see, there’s me. Remember how I told you about this guy ... the one I went after? The pon farr thing?” In just her underwear, B’Elanna walked back to the bed and flopped down. On the table lay the copy of Taming of the Shrew and she chuckled as she picked it up and stroked the cover. “Kresh, don’t hate me … but … I really like him. He makes me miss you, though. Mostly because you’d like him. Who knows, maybe the three of us can work something out if I ever get home and if you’re single … cause I miss you. I miss you so much and I hope you’ve moved on. I’m trying to.” She sighed. “He took me to a Library tonight and then let me just wander the shelves and he didn’t bug me. He didn’t pressure me to tell him all about what he was reading. And after, he just … I sound like a schoolgirl, but when he kissed me, I really felt like …” she took a breath. “You’d love him, Kresh. And if I’m not careful, I’ll love him too.”

B’Elanna sighed and crashed back into her pillows, pressing her fingers to her lips. In her heart, she was just a romantic, falling in love with a boy, and terrified that if she opened herself up to him, she’d be left all alone out in space with no one else who cared.

Dear God, she was melodramatic.

“End recording,” she murmured. The computer beeped. B’Elanna reached for the PADD, accessed her book files, and curled up with Sissix, Lovey, and Jinx.

**Author's Note:**

> Little Match Box
> 
> And if there were two moons,  
> who would sleep when one  
> passed before the other  
> and took it in  
> on its dark side? Wouldn’t  
> some extra light ray out  
> around the sustaining one?  
> Wouldn’t you sense  
> the two in one, even if you’d  
> never seen them parted?
> 
> Sometimes a glory  
> is just that - a guessing-into  
> the seen, noticing  
> the fringe of presence  
> when it comes, trying to match  
> its fervency by something  
> as tangible, something  
> only you are equal to. 
> 
> \- Tess Galalgher


End file.
